Statement recorded 17th March, 2024.

Apologies for my absence. It’s been a long month. Been doing a lot of remodel assistance on the other side of the city so I haven’t been home very much. I went to the Renaissance festival a couple weeks ago. I’m still peeling on my arms from the burn. Just a lot of little things.

I asked Vriska to be girlfriends a week ago. Absolutely elated about this. I love her so much. I might be the happiest girl in the world. Perhaps second happiest. We might be tied? I got her some dice and I’m really excited to send them plus some stuff I crocheted to her. We started watching Hannibal together and it’s been a fucking riot. We’re waterboarding Hannibal and Will.

I had a really good month. It’s been a little rocky but that’s okay. Thanks for listening.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 26th February, 2024.

Who else up siding their order.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 13th February, 2024.

I am God’s specialest little boy. Everyone loves me. I turn 19 in four days. I need to poke holes in myself.

Shows I went to over the weekend were really awesome. I think it’s gonna be really hard to beat the arena experience after seeing TOOL in a lower section. I still prefer smaller shows but I am cursed by old people.

Not too much this week because everything feels like mush in my brain and I’m already two days late. But I had a really good time.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 4th February, 2024.

So, I missed a week. Sorry about that. Not much really happened, though. Just the same old. Lot of family issues this week. Not much I want to fill you in on about that. I think you’ve had enough of my incessant complaining for the next four years.

I see a few friends and a rather large band next weekend. I’m nervous? Excited? Kind of wanting to kill myself? I am a normal and very well-adjusted person. And then the weekend after that I turn 19. Six more years of me fuck it and balling as dictated by the Develop Prefrontal Cortex Plan. I bought my own membership plan for my gym so I’m going a lot more. I got some tips about stretching after workouts and I should probably do that before them too. It helps with soreness the day after. I can see some of my arm muscles through the fat in my arms when I move in the mirror. It looks weird. My trainer gave me a few good arm focused exercises though, so hopefully I can hold myself at more than a 20 degree angle with my left arm soon. King of eating shit at the please don’t eat shit on our equipment place.

I started writing one (1) fanfiction. Which is about the only place where chronicling my adventures in suburbia could have led me. It’s fun. I need to keep writing it. Vriska is outpacing me huge time on the writing game. I feel like I’m trying to catch up but she’s running on pavement and I’m in a glue trap. Do you get me?

Anyways, The Magnus Protocol has four episodes out at the moment, and I listened to them all in one go. I think I might blow up? Three of my favorite things have people put into computers. Good job universe. I love my brain computers. I especially love three brains in one computer. We’re so fucked.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 21th January, 2024.

It rained today. That was nice. A few hot air balloons flew very close to my street yesterday and I got some neat photos from that. I don’t really remember much of this week. Maybe I didn’t do very much or maybe I was dissociating. Not really sure. My day today sucked and I don’t think I’m ever going to my aunts’ apartment again. I dunno.

On Friday I went to Joann’s and Hobby Lobby with my grandma to look at yarn. I know what I’m gonna make for my uncle for Christmas this year, plus I’m gonna learn how to make Irish lace. Maybe. I picked up some string and it uses a 1.5mm hook so learning to work with it is a challenge.

I’m going to at least one more show and it’s the day before I see TOOL. I get to see my friends from high school again though. I think that makes everything okay, even if I will be very tired. I’m trying to go to the HEALTH gig in March too, but none of my family are into industrial metal so it’s like pulling teeth. Other than shows this year I think the main thing I want to save up for is getting lip piercings. I can’t talk about wanting snake bites for 3 years straight and then not get them as soon as possible. I gotta trim my hair tomorrow. I don’t know what else to update you on. Thanks for listening.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 14th January, 2024.

Still protein-hungry but there’s nothing quite like getting killed by your body’s natural processes. This week was weird because I can’t really get myself to focus on one thing right now. I don’t like feeling like that.

Still spending a lot of time shiny hunting in Violet. I got my first egg shiny. It will take a very long time to get this living dex. Good news is that I don’t have a life and can spend several hours a day doing that. The Blueberry terrarium is really nice to hunt in and the odds feel different there than Kitakami and Paldea.

Dirk Strider and Jake English in my brain. You gotta kill me. Vriska you have to do it.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 7th January, 2024.

Not much else to share this week. I’ve been really protein-hungry because I got active but protein bars and powders tend to make me feel bad. I went to my uncle’s birthday party last night and we were awake until six in the morning. It was very fun.

I caught the Eon duo in Violet a bit ago. I am speed.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 3rd Janurary, 2024.

It’s a new year. Congrats! I won’t really get into it but it’s been rough as hell and untreated depression doesn’t make anything easier. I lost a very dear companion last year. The anniversary of her death is in 9 days. I hope I don’t lose another this year.

I have a couple of things to look forward to though. I’m seeing TOOL and the Sessanta tour in February and April respectively. I started going to the gym (heh) with my grandpa. Not as sore as I was expecting to be today. My legs are really strong but not much else, which isn’t surprising. Most of my exercise in the last year was walking. I get to keep being insane about 4 Homestuck characters with Vris which is my most enriching activity. You could put me in the bathroom Saw trap and only give me Dirkjake content and I would still thrive. They mean everything to me. (So does Vris. Shoutout to her for letting me be deranged in its dms for 6 months straight.)

I haven’t been updating on Sundays like I normally would. It’s Wednesday. I’ll get back on Sunday releases soon. Have a good week.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 25th December, 2023.

My Dirkpilling is back in full strength. I can't stop it. It's so over.

Rough day today but I have new Joycons and perfume. The perfume is a sample of the TMA scent (lol) and I like it a lot. It smells a lot like the bergamot in Earl Grey tea after it settles. I also have a new Pokemon plushie which is a huge win for Bulbasaur fans.

Speaking of, I’ve put in an insane amount of hours into Violet this month. Shiny hunting is really fun in this game except when you need to breed and Don’t have a good Ditto. (My uncle gave me one last night.) Alolan Vulpix…

My oven broke. That was really funny.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 19th December, 2023.

I cut my hair again. I look like if a loser tried to cut their own mullet which is basically what happened. Somehow the back looks okay even though I felt like I was weed whacking it. I like it.

Not really much to say this week. I’ve been really going at it in Pokemon Violet the last few weeks though. The DLC is really fun.

Statement ends.

Statement recorded 7th December, 2023.

I have cut my hair twice since you’ve last seen me! And I might do even more!!!! Hahahaha!!!!!!!! The first time, last Thursday, I did a more elaborate trim than the one I did in August(?) and the second time (literally thirty minutes ago) I did a mullet-style shave around my ears. My grandma was being weird about it when I brought it up earlier. Does she know? (It will get weirder.) I plan on doing a peekaboo candy red dye soon, but I need help for that. I don’t have bleach, developer, or hair dye. Or a cool robot clone to work on the back of my head.

Not much else has happened for me. Game Awards were today and I had a hilarious time trying to access the Steam Deck giveaway. I got in 9 minutes after the event ended. I got so excited when they said they were showing something from a small Australian indie team that my heart rate jumped only for it not to be Silksong. Big Walk seems really sweet, so I’ll have to buy it when it releases. The Cardinals won against the Steelers at their stadium which is comedy gold. I finished a couple of art pieces this week which was a nice change of pace from my usual “abandon all projects forever” grindset.

Statement ends.

statement recorded 26th november, 2023.

i am not allergic to lanolin despite fatherly warnings! my yarn adventures become much cheaper. i talked to my dad the other day and it was okay. i don’t really know how to feel about it. i think i might have an iron deficiency.

my week was really weird and i kind of think it’s tuesday even though it’s sunday–and i know it is, because several major football games played today. sleeping for a few hours, waking up for several, and then sleeping for a few more hours more than once can really fuck you up, i guess! during both of these events my mother saw me awake at impossible (for me) hours of the morning so i guess i can be a little creepy, as a treat. i started a new drawing too, except now i’m at the painting stage of both of my in-progress works and i doubt either will see completion for a while. i’m still hashing out a painting process and it sucks!!!!

i also went to lunch and the park with my high school best friend on friday. we fed the ducks and pigeons and geese frozen peas. it was nice.

statement ends.

statement recorded 19th november, 2023.

not too much to talk about this week. birds suck again. next week is comically bad as always. i get my sample yarn tomorrow though, which is nice. hope i’m not allergic to lanolin! wish me luck.

statement ends.

statement recorded 12th of november, 2023.

got to go to my first football game today! despite having to be seated in the middle of an argument between family members, i had a lot of fun. i think i’m over being the guy who has to break things up in my family group! i talked a little bit about it to my grandpa, but not too much about the emotional toll it takes on me. i wish people listened to me more but at the same time i dislike being the only voice of reason. if i have to break up an argument or fight because no one else will that really sucks!!!! and i’m the youngest one here!!!!

about the game, the refs called a lot on our team and not enough on the opposing team which is crazy because we’re at our home stadium, i guess. there was one call that was “false start, everyone but center,” which is just so funny. how does that even happen? we were in nosebleed seating but we had a great view of the field and the jumbos. even the logo was facing us! the game, cards v falcons, was a tight game but we came out on top at the end of the fourth. the commercial breaks are really funny because they do just stand around on the field for around 5 minutes! wonder what they talk about down there. murray’s return and a win today bodes really well for us, i hope. no one really thinks the cardinals are gonna make playoffs, unless by some miracle we win every game from here on out (not happening) but now it’s milder stakes and we can watch our team play without thinking about that damn superbowl. speaking of!!!!!!!! the superbowl is in las vegas next year and the las vegas grand prix is on saturday. GEE!!!! who gave you TWO big events. hope they can handle it!!!!

really exciting day to end a rather chilly (for me!!!!) week. it was very cold in my room when i woke up! at a whopping 8 o’clock! i think life is looking up at least a little bit for me. i’ve been chatting a lot with vriska too and that makes me happy :)

statement ends.

statement recorded 5th of november, 2023.

i think i might get into sprite editing! it’s really fun to just work on something quick and easy. i wanted to make a heart aspect banner for myself since blinkies cafe only has breath; i ended up making light for vriska & then the other 9 aspects. a couple of them look goofy (time and doom) but what can you expect from a 150px by 20px canvas lol! it’s definitely so much different than the large canvases i’m used to working on. i have so much to learn about pixel art.

i’m listening to season 2 of the magnus archives (i read all of the transcripts first like an evil book because i suck) and jon wondering why he gets framed for brutal pipe murder and gun murder is very funny when you remind yourself he has been breaking into his dead boss’ home and getting complaints of stalking from his archival assistants all throughout season 2. boy you are committing crimes! i think michael introducing himself to jon after he’s begun the supplemental recordings is really interesting. the distortion is the throat of delusion incarnate–and jon is convinced someone is definitely going to kill him. which is not helped by other avatars targeting him but his belief that someone in the archives is going to murder him is somewhat unwarranted until melanie king comes into the picture. i love an archivist jonathan sims!

statement ends.

statement recorded 31st of october, 2023.

today (and the last few days) i have succumbed to a mystery illness which affects myself and no one else in the house. i’ve started this page as a sort of companion piece to my friend’s website–because i thought it was fun & i’ve wanted to. i’m hoping for weekly updates but i am consistently awful at writing and also don’t have much of a life.

recently i’ve gotten back into baseball; but instead of taking interest at the beginning of a season like any other guy, i’ve done it at the end of the post-season playoffs. home team world series! the comeback at city bank for arizona was fantastic but i’m worried the team won’t be able to best the rangers (it’s 3-1 TX lead as of this evening) even without two of their best players. i hope we can win tomorrow night.

statement ends.

supplemental, recorded 1st november.

we lost the world series and it's sewald's fault. to me

end supplemental.